I came across mention of Mohammed Bello Abubakar before. This is a Muslim Nigerian fellow with 86 wives. Naturally the question arises as to why anyone would want to have that many wives, but who am I to judge.
Word has come down the he must choose only four. Yes, that's right, he has to really back it up and have just four ladies. If he doesn't comply with this, he's going to be put to death.
I see two outcomes for this. Seeing as how he's 84, he could very just go with the death option. That would probably be my choice. The other choice would be to sell this to an broadcasting company to make some kind of American Idol show where we go through an elimination system. I see the title now, Wife Hunt: Nigeria. You know it would spawn massive ratings as well as subsequent seasons. I can even see the reunion show now:
"Wife 37, how did it make you feel to be eliminated in just the first round?"
"Well, Carson, I was sad at first, but because I didn't have any children, I eventually found my way in to a home where there were only eight wives. It was really a step up for me."
"So, everyone was a winner?"
"Yes, yes, Carson, I'd have to say that everyone was a winner."
"Dear god I love doing my part to save Africa."
Sometime back, when preparing for my maiden voyage to DR Congo, I wrote about the Bradt Congo guidebook. It has the distinction of being the only recently-printed guidebook on Democratic Republic of the Congo as well as the Republic of Congo. It's also the only one in English that is current, being that Lonely Planet's 'Zaire' guide is a bit out of date. Now that I am back from gallivanting around DR Congo, I can give the book its due.
The author, Sean Rorison has done a fine job of covering a massive area with poor transportation and next to no infrastructure. As I mentioned in the previous article, he doesn't mess around when talking about the situation there. He goes in to great detail of all the restaurants, hotels, and history really well. The background provided in the book is a great summation of the history and current situation of DR Congo that prepares the traveler for what they are about to experience once setting foot in the country.
Of course, DR Congo it's not for the easygoing traveler who thinks that Prague is really crazy to visit because it's "scary" Eastern Europe. Unlike a book on say, Hawaii, Rorison doesn't work to sell the reader the destination but actually prepare them for the trip. In essence, it does what a lot of guidebooks are missing the point of doing these days (I'm looking at you, Fodors).
It lays out pretty much everything that's touristic to see in any of the towns, which is not that much. It also gets in to the practical aspects of getting around the country, which are not easy. This is one point that might need to be developed more in a future edition (if there is one) is that one of the only airlines that was safe to fly on, Hewa Bora, has not really ever been that safe to fly on and got a whole lot less safe in April and should not be flown on if one enjoys living.
Other basics are covered well, including hospitals (try not to go), women travelers (not advised to go solo), embassies (register with yours there), and Article 15 (a remnant of Mobutu times that is an unstated law essentially allowing mass corruption). That being said, there are a few things that could be done to spruce the book up a bit. One thing is to go in to better detail on budgeting. While costs are always changing (getting more expensive), I can't see how you can survive in a place like Kinshasa on $40 a day. A hotel that's at a high enough level to avoid getting scabies is a minimum of $70 a night. Food can be cheap, but one must be willing to adventure a little.
There really needs to be a bigger section on the N'Djili Airport in Kinshasa. That's a wacky place that's not the easiest thing to navigate. While getting better, it's still not like any typical concept of an airport that most anyone from the US or Europe will be used to. Additionally, just getting to and from it is an ordeal that isn't given enough print in the book. The same should be said of the airport in Bukavu, although to lesser degrees.
Another thing that would really help is to lay out itineraries in the various areas. Congo isn't like European destinations wherein spare time can be filled by just wandering the city. It takes a long time to get anywhere and do anything there, so you really need to be pretty anal retentive when making plans, unless of course you just want to sit around in cafes watching the hustle and bustle, which will inevitably happen even if you don't intentionally plan it.
Obviously, one can't cover everything and it's good to see that Rorison mentioned Patisserie Nouvelle in Kinshasa, but he missed the restaurants of Surcouf and Chantilly which are great spots. And while the coverage of Uvira is far too short, he does a good job with Bukavu and an even better job with Goma, as well as an entire section just on the Ruwenzori Park. I really enjoyed the sidebar on, "Where t-shirts go to die", which is a good read and very true if you're ever curious as to where your donated clothing ends up in the world.
The one gleaming thing that is nearly not covered at all are the expats. I assume that this must be the author's and the editor's decision, as it's an aspect of DR Congo that is unavoidable. The book doesn't really get in to how the UN (as well as other NGO's) blanket the country and you will most definitely run in to expats as there are literally thousands of them in the country. I can understand that when writing a guidebook to a country that you want to talk more about the country than those who outsiders to it, but unlike expats in Spain, those in Congo are really part of the whole writhing mess that is Congo. They can also be a good source for local information for first timers to the country as well.
But in closing, despite my small nitpicks, this is a great guide to the Congos. Rorison and Bradt could have easily have done a half-assed job since they're heading in to a region that has next to no competition, but in the end, they produced a very worthy guide that is a gleaming example of what Bradt does best in that they cover regions that are undiscovered.
On Bradt's website, I noticed that there is a section for author updates for out of date information, which is fantastic. For instance, the Serbia author has put in a good deal of data. I hope that Rorison can do this as well when he has the time.
Well, I've just heard back from the author and he has clarified a few things for me. His daily cost estimates are indeed accurate based on the lowest, subsistence travel possible and one can indeed stay for $9 a night in Kinshasa if one is willing to sleep in the filthiest room ever of a "hotel" that is part of a bar. He also said that he did indeed leave out the expats intentionally as they form a sort of a parallel existence to that of actual Congo, which I have seen to be very, very true as based on my own observations.
One topic that I haven't touched on too much yet revolves around all the expats who are living and working DR Congo. It's a screwy thing that I've only started to have a couple contiguous of thoughts about it. Let's start with what's good about the people living in DR Congo.
For one, this is a country that is tough to live in. Beyond the diseases, poverty, and hellish climate (mostly in the west) these are people that have given a chunk of their lives to try and improve the situation in Congo whether through MONUC, Doctors Without Borders, the Red Cross, USAID, Oxfam, or any other number of aid agencies that are operating in DR Congo. Even if people come with the delusion of grandeur that they're going to be saving African babies from the ravages of war, they are still coming to help. This puts them in a class that's above and beyond the vast majority of the rest of us from First World countries who might donate a little bit of money here and there to these causes if we're feeling really generous. This is what is good about these people and a great many of them work for next to no money when they come, so it really is altruistic and genuine.
Then of course there is the bad side, which I can unfortunately spend a great deal more time on. The worst offenders are the full timers for the UN and foreign embassy staff. Those at the embassies are these banal people with no character or life to them. They epitomize the worst of civil servants, except that they love to get massively drunk and lead these dull lives firmly clutched in their compounds and protected areas free of the country that surrounds them. They earn their large salaries and after a few years, they go to another country to repeat the same thing or they go home to do god knows what, since they're most likely not going to earn what they earn when at the embassies.
But, these embassy people came to DR Congo just for the money, which doesn't excuse the way they act, but explains it to a large degree. Those in the UN generally started off with the assumption that they were there to help. Many came in on the UN Volunteer program which are a group that earn very little and work quite hard. Of these people it seems that there are those that came because they wanted to work in Congo and be part of affecting change. Then there are those that came in to be a UNV just so that they could eventually weasel their way in to a permanent position, which pays exceeding well. While not the case or everyone, a permanent staff for the UN can make upwards of $12,000-15,000 a month. Those who are smart, save this money, and work to eventually move to other missions in the UN. Those who aren't so smart spend like maniacs. They contribute to the fact that it costs more to live in a sinkhole of a town like Kinshasa than in Paris. They create a market for houses that cost $8,000 a month because they want to spend that much to feel "comfortable" because they are under the impression that they've earned this.
Beyond the fact that they earn a lot (MONUC does costs one billion dollars a year to run) is the fact that at a certain point whether it be pay level, career level, or just the amount of years spent in Congo, the permanent staff all seem to swallow the UN Coolaid and fall prey to the premise that the UN is making huge changes in the country. In truth, the changes are small, yet I would never say that Congo could better off without the UN. It's just that measuring the success of the mission by the fact that the Congolese don't throw rocks at UN vehicles anymore is pretty sad.
Life for typical Congolese is not easy and I would never propose that an expat attempt to live as they do. But, this life of living in compounds and being completely isolated from the population of the country creates an unavoidable rift that in my opinion makes it impossible for the UN mission to function within any frame of reality. Sure the staff go on missions to make their never-ending onslaught of reports, but then they come back to their cocoon that cushions from the harsh reality of a rough country.
Many people are burned out. Somewhere around two years seems to be the regular amount of time that people stay in Congo before they can't take it anymore and have to leave. So many don't leave though and stay on for five years or even more. Their reason for staying is that they just don't know what they're going to do next, which has to be one of the worst reasons to stay on at a job and it sure as hell isn't doing the Congolese any good. The money is just too much to leave and the lifestyle is one that none of these people could afford to keep in First World countries. A great many of them are after all living in former Mobutu-ist mansions.
My frustrations with all of this are not atypical. Everyone there is aware of it, but once again, they do little to avoid it because that would mean leaving Congo. It's to a point where if some producer were really crafty, making a Real World or Big Brother or Surreal Life type reality show about a group of expats working in DR Congo would be really compelling. They could cover the Idealistic Newcomer, the Burnout, the Networker, the Partier, the Embassy Man, the Undying Savior, and a slew of other types that all seem to wend their way around this country. Are they "saving" it? Not really, but they are providing some form of stability that will hopefully start creating a stable society upon which one of Africa's largest and most wealthy countries can emerge stronger.
